It’s natural for spouses to go through periods of conflict. There are, however, ways to deal with it constructively, instead of resorting to anger and force. Connolly Suthers says that going through a contentious dispute can cause couples and children a lot of emotional stress, so it’s best to approach the argument in the most diplomatic way possible.
Talk about Problems instead of Avoiding Them
According to Harvard professor Richard Hackman, spouses should face the matter at hand instead of avoiding them. Avoiding an issue is only a band-aid solution to a problem; bottled-up feelings will eventually pile up, cause resentment and explode in your face. Arguments can be a good sign, as it means that you and your spouses are trying to communicate and be honest with each other about your feelings — except the effort doesn’t end there. The next time you and your partner get into an argument, try approaching the issue more rationally and talk it out.
Set aside Your Differences and Compromise
Relationship conflicts are a normal part of marriage. While you and your spouse won’t always see eye to eye, trying to turn your partner into a different person isn’t the way to make a marriage last. Instead, try to come up with a workable compromise: while you may disagree on some things, you’ll easily find that you agree on a lot more.
Listen and Respect Both Sides
No one likes being criticised, or having someone point a finger at them. How can couples move a relationship forward after an argument, then? Sometimes, the solution is simple: all couples need to do is to keep a cool head and listen to their partner’s side. When parties listen closely to each other, they draw closer and learn more about each other’s desires, thus strengthening their bond.
Acknowledging that there is a problem is already half the solution. While you and your spouse might have different values and opinions, you can use that to your advantage to devise ways to solve the problem at hand.