During divorce, many people have felt different from themselves. It can be difficult to feel good when life has been turned upside down and when you have been trying so hard for so long to make things work out in a marriage that could not last.
There are challenges ahead of you in leaving the past behind and moving forward toward your new future. Self-care during divorce is a great way to ease into a new life.
Here’s how you can benefit from it:
1. Self-care Promotes Calmness
Divorce can trigger negative emotions: anger, pain, resentment, self-blame, and depression. It can be difficult to deal with these feelings, and you might find yourself dwelling more on the past than what you need to do for your future.
Self-care after divorce is an excellent way to recognize that you can take positive steps toward happiness while still dealing with negative emotions. It centers you, grounds you, and, most of all, calms you. This way, you can deal with its challenges while still enjoying inner peace.
2. It Is a Way of Giving Value to Yourself
Many couples feel guilt, worthlessness, and inadequacy during divorce. Sadly, these perceptions can last for a long time, even years.
It is natural to blame yourself and take responsibility for failures in a marriage, but you need to realize that divorce is not your fault. Even if there were problems in the past and you feel like you made mistakes, you did nothing wrong by wanting happiness for yourself instead of suffering or hard work. You didn’t do anything wrong when you decided to move on.
Self-care after divorce is a way of recognizing what you deserve in life. It’s a way for you to let go of the past and stop judging yourself for it. When you are happy, you can value your time, energy, thoughts, feelings, body, creativity, money, property–everything!
3. Self-care Means Taking Care of Your Needs
You have been working so hard to keep a relationship going, and now that it has ended, you might feel overwhelmed by the need to do things for yourself. It can be difficult to know your needs or how to answer them when they arise.
Self-care is a way of acknowledging that your happiness is essential. It means you need to take care of yourself and meet those needs. You’re never too busy for this! When you treat yourself well, you will feel happier and better able to handle life’s challenges.
How to Practice Self-care during Divorce
1. Leave It to the Attorneys
Does it feel like facing your ex-partner can help you remember bad experiences during the marriage? Are you scared of your former spouse? You don’t need to meet them all the time. Instead, you can let a divorce attorney do most of the work on your behalf. This means having to face the other party without your presence.
Divorce attorneys also help clear out issues about the division of assets and custody. They can also fight for spousal support to ensure you can move on quickly and conveniently.
2. Surround Yourself with Love
Divorce can leave you feeling insecure, confused, and alone. Being with friends and family who care about you makes all the difference in getting over a divorce. Self-care after divorce is a great way to be grateful for their support and love without being too dependent on them either. Consider:
- Going out on a holiday break with them
- Meeting up with them for lunch or dinner
- Enjoying their company on the weekends
You can also practice self-love. Revisit hobbies or interests you’ve postponed during your marriage. Learn Julia Cameron’s morning pages or artist dates to take care of your inner child and begin the process of healing.
3. Find a Job
Initially, finding a job seems counterproductive to self-care. But it does offer many advantages. First, it inspires (and sometimes forces) you to look good so that you can bring attention to your needs.
Second, it allows you to meet new people and opens up your social network. Third, working becomes a new and challenging activity, which can take your mind off the divorce even for a while. Lastly, working leads you to a path of more self-discovery, including reclaiming your financial independence.
4. Get Enough Sleep
When you don’t have energy for everything else, get enough sleep. It quiets the mind, relaxes your body, and reduces the risk of getting sick.
Granted, catching sleep is difficult when you’re facing a divorce, so focus on better sleep hygiene. Invest in dark curtains, play calming music before you sleep, and read a book instead of checking your mobile phone at least 30 minutes before your sleep schedule.
Recognizing your self-worth and getting yourself together is vital during a divorce. You need to take care of yourself to get over the marriage, meet your needs, and move on with life.