A child’s birth is often considered a miracle of life because two cells formed a human after seven to nine months. Some might say that this duration of time can be enough to make life-changing decisions, and for some, it really is.
Unplanned pregnancies are never how you imagined them to be, nor are they like what they teach you in health class. One minute, you were enjoying your freedom as a young adult, and the next, you’re carrying a child in your womb.
When you finally tell your boyfriend that you’re pregnant, one of two things can happen: they can either take responsibility for what happened or run away at the first chance they get. You’ve seen how this will play out in countless movies before, but being in that situation can really take you by surprise.
You might have your whole life already planned out in front of you – graduation, college, and a high-paying job. But all that will change once you decided to go through with your unplanned pregnancy. It can be a challenging road ahead, which means you need to make a careful decision.
Situation #1: Your boyfriend will ask you to start a family together
Even if you’re both still young and have your whole lives ahead of you, some people aren’t afraid to take responsibility for their actions. When you tell your boyfriend that your period is late and that you might be pregnant, you have to give them time to absorb the situation at hand.
If they decide that they want to help you raise your child and start a life together, then let them. You will need all the help you can get when raising a kid, and even if your parents or relatives are present in the picture, it might be better to have the biological father in the picture once your kid has grown.
Of course, the decision to accept the marriage will still be yours in the end. If you think that you can be happy with your partner and that you can build a life together while raising your child, then go ahead. You’re old enough to make your own decisions because you’re going to be a mom.
Who knows? You might even wake up one day and see that your partner has saved up enough money to buy a diamond wedding band for you. So all hope is not lost. Your dreams might be set back because of the unplanned pregnancy, but you still have enough time to reorganize your dreams and include your new family in your long-term plans.
Situation #2: Your boyfriend will want no part in the life of your child
Just as young adults are willing to take responsibility for their actions, there will also be people who won’t. When you tell your boyfriend that your period is late and that you might be pregnant, you have to give them time to absorb the situation at hand.
However, if he violently reacts or lashes out at the news of your unplanned pregnancy, then that’s already a sign that he might not want anything to do with your child. Don’t try to hold onto them. Instead, consider raising the child on your own, even if it’s going to be twice as hard.
Single parenthood is not a taboo topic that should be avoided. Some people are just better off separated, and that’s okay. That won’t make your child any less of a person just because his or her parents aren’t married or living together. It’s the 21st century, and single mothers are considered real-life superheroes.
But just because your child’s biological father doesn’t want anything to do with your child doesn’t mean you can let them off the hook that easily. Raising a kid is hard, but it’s even harder when you need to make ends meet. And that’s also why you should file for child support.
Although the requirements may vary from one Office of Child Support Enforcement to another, they will include general documentation like a valid photo ID, proof of address, the child’s birth certificate, and the biological father’s contact details. Some might also require a paternity test when filing for child support.
You can let your boyfriend off the hook when it comes to raising your kid and being in their life, but what you shouldn’t allow is that they leave unscathed. After all, it took two people to create another, which means that the responsibility shouldn’t fall on your shoulders alone.
No matter what you decide to do, remember that your decision will affect the rest of your life. So do you want to be a great wife and mom, or do you want to be a single mother to your child? This might be the biggest decision you’re ever going to make in your life. Therefore, you should choose wisely.